31/ 12/ 2005          sat.                    fine

（今天的日记）

久违了写字台，久违了日记，久违了电脑，久违了网络；但是，在这一年的最后时刻，仍有无尽的心情等待记载，许多早已尘封而不见踪迹，然而不论如何，历史又再翻开新的一页，明天开始，那崭新的日子将会引领崭新的一年。

 

昨日的所有喜怒哀乐，都只成日记上那歪歪扭扭的字符，曾有过惊喜的欢笑，曾有过离别的辛酸，也曾有过任性的哭闹。一年的终结，更是接近23岁的终结，或者说24年的两个轮回。成长了吗？其实不敢肯定，不管这“成长”一词代表了“长大”还是“成熟”，答案仍然是个无法知晓的谜团。但是成长与否又有何重要？哪天都学着不同的知识，要到何种程度才可谓“成长”？每天都在成长中，生活只要开心就好。

 

当然，不论这成长是否每天如此，仍会感受到全新的感觉——这便是这堆凌乱的字符的来源。迷惘时，便放纵泪水毫无掩饰；欢乐时，便开怀大笑纵情放肆。曾走过所谓的人生最低谷，虽不肯轻言放弃，却不知梦在何方与路在何方；然而，却一直忽略了一个世界上最令人无法说清该恨还是该爱的词，“奇迹”。正所谓“山穷水尽疑无路，柳暗花明又一村”，总爱捉弄人心的命运时常会给人带来突如其来的大转折。走过那阴雨连绵的潮湿季节，终于寻找到了一片海阔天空的碧海蓝天。

 

不管是否已经学会应用“平静”，但至少已经知道这个词不再是海市蜃楼。但既然无所谓成长的程度，又何须在乎何时才真正学会应用“平静”？终有一天，一定会找到答案。仍有许多问题等待解决；然而这些问题的本身就无法用语言来描述，一切只有心才知道；生活本身就是个大问题。好吧，既然想不通，那就把它抛到一边吧，只要继续走下去，便一定会找到答案。

 

还有什么感觉呢？其实还有很多很多，只不过正如开始所说，有很多记忆已经尘封，而留在这四方纸张上的，只是沧海一粟。

 

好吧，就到此为止吧，对往昔的悼念永远是永恒的，而对新感受的感慨也永远是无尽的。不论所有的一切能否为人知晓，又或者多年以后是否仍会记起，都不重要，只要一切都只存在于心中，便足够了。

 

那么，在这一年最后时刻，就对所有人，包括我自己，在心底说声“happy new year”吧……

Many nights we pray
with no proof anyone could hear
and our hearts a hopeful song
we barely understood
Now we are not afraid
although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
long before we knew we could

There can be miracles
when you believe
Though hope is frail
it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
you can achieve
When you believe
somehow you will
you will when you believe

In this time of fear
when prayer so often prove in vain
hope seems like the summer birds
too swiftly flown away
And now I am standing here
my heart's so full I can't explain
seeking faith and
speaking words I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles
when you believe
Though hope is frail
it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
you can achieve
When you believe
somehow you will
you will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask
and it's easy to give into your fear
But when you're blinded by your pain
can't see your way safe through the rain
though of a still resilient voice
saying love is very near

There can be miracles
when you believe
Though hope is frail
it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
you can achieve
When you believe
somehow you will
you will when you believe
you will when you believe
you will when you believe
Just believe
You will when you believe